


Secrets (And how not to keep them)

by okeydokey (LilMissNerdfighter)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: A little angst, Author has disregarded the end of Series 5 because they like Mordred thank you very much, Fluff, M/M, Magic Reveal, Mordred and Gwaine can't keep secrets, Not sure what's happened to Gwen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2012-12-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 05:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilMissNerdfighter/pseuds/okeydokey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin has a lot of secrets and has (for some bizarre reason) entrusted Gwaine and Mordred with two of them. Will they be able to keep Merlin's secrets?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets (And how not to keep them)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. This is my first fic for the Merlin fandom, and so some of the characters might be slightly OOC.  
> Also, in order to make it work, Gwen is elsewhere (I have nothing against her or Arwen in general, it just didn't fit this fic).

‘I don’t know how to tell him. I have to- don’t I?’ Merlin was sitting cross legged opposite Gwaine, his head resting in his hands. Somehow, he had ended up in the Armoury talking to Gwaine about his secret. Well, one of them anyway.

‘Yeah, well… um. I don’t think he’d be too… surprised, actually.’ Gwaine told him, awkwardly patting him on the shoulders. Poor kid, he thought- he’d always liked Merlin, and this secret would probably ruin him. He understood why he’d kept it hidden for so many years, but when he thought about it, Merlin hadn’t been very subtle. All the excuses and the odd sitiuations he had been caught in finally made sense.

‘Really?’ Merlin croaked. Apparently he wasn’t as good at keeping secrets as he had thought, if Gwaine of all people had noticed.

‘Yeah, you have been staring at him an awful lot.’ Gwaine smirked, dodging Merlin’s swipe. Merlin flushed red, it was a relief to finally unburden himself- even it was of the smallest secret.

‘I suppose…’ admitted Merlin, shaking his head. That was the moment the door swung open, narrowly missing the pair sitting on the floor.

‘Watch out, moron!’ Gwaine scrambled to his feet. ‘Oh- hey, Mordred! Seriously, watch out next time.’

‘Sorry- why were you sitting on the floor, in the first place?’ Mordred asked in confusion.

‘Merlin was telling me his secret.’ Gwaine half whispered. Merlin froze- Gwaine wasn’t going to tell Mordred. He wouldn’t, would he?

‘He told you?’ Mordred’s eyes widened in surprise, his gaze switching between Gwaine and Merlin in rapid succession.

‘Yeah, it was kind of obvious- hang on, you know? Merlin, I thought you said no-one else knew?’ It was Gwaine’s turn to look surprised. Merlin just buried his head in his arms again, refusing to answer.

‘I’ve known for ages- I know it’s illegal, but he can’t help it, can he?’

‘No, I think it’s cute. Poor ickle Merlin-‘

‘Oi!’ Merlin’s indignant yell was muffled by his arms.

‘Cute?’

‘Yeah, cute. How he… well, y’know.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Mordred asked. How was it cute in any way, shape or form?

‘How Merlin…y’know-‘

‘Merlin, what?’

‘Guys, it doesn’t matter, I can sort out my own problems. I’m fine, seriously.’ Merlin sighed, shaking his head slightly. So many secrets, so little time- and they were all tangled up in one confused knot.

‘It does matter!’ The knights retorted in unison, sharing a sly grin.

‘Right, on the count of three, we say Merlin’s secret, okay?’

‘Okay.’ Mordred agreeing, smirking.

‘Three-‘

‘Two-‘

‘One.’

‘Merlin has magic.’

‘Merlin loves Arthur.’

‘Merlin loves Arthur!’ Mordred yelled, his eyes almost popping out of his head. ‘You’re right, that is cute!’

‘Merlinhasmagic?’ Gwaine shrieked. ‘ _Merlin_ has _magic_!’  He took a step back from Merlin, eying him suspiciously.

‘You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone!’ Merlin cried, pulling himself to his feet, standing opposite the knights, fists clenched.

‘Merlin-‘

‘No, shut up. Both of you. Do you have any idea how hard those secrets have been to keep for so long? I know that they could and will get me killed, but I can’t change them. They are part of me, and if you could both keep your mouths shut and not go around destroying everything I have worked for, then that’d be nice. Thank you.’ Merlin roared, before turning to storm out of the room. Just as he reached the door, it slammed shut in a sudden gust of wind. ‘Mordred, you’d better let me leave right now or…’

‘Or what, _Emrys_?’

‘I’ll… I’ll dye all your clothes blue.’ Merlin whirled around to see Mordred trying to contain his laughter, whilst somehow still seeming to look apologetic and cross. In short, he looked demented.  Gwaine on the other hand seemed to be having a choking fit.

‘Mordred, why-why did your eyes glow?’

‘Magic,’ Mordred shrugged. ‘Merlin, you really need to work on your insults.’

‘I know, but… You foiled my dramatic exit!’

‘Emrys, the greatest warlock to ever live, foiled by a closing door.’

‘Why do you keep calling him Emrys- what is going on?’ spluttered Gwaine.

‘I think we killed Gwaine.’ Merlin gestured to the knight, now attempting to look strong, whilst curled in a ball on the floor.

‘I think you’re right.’

**

Twenty minutes later, they had all ended up on the floor again. Gwaine had regained his composure and Merlin had calmed down; Mordred seemed completely unfazed.

‘So, let me get this straight. Mordred, you’re a druid-‘

‘Ex-druid. I doubt they’d have me back after this.’

‘Whatever. Mordred is an ex-druid, who Arthur, Morgana and Merlin rescued when he was younger?’

‘We are still here, you know. But, yeah. You’re right so far.’

‘And Merlin, you were _born_ with magic, and you’re in love with _Arthur_.’

‘Right on both accounts.’

‘Bloody hell, Merlin. I still can’t believe it. Arthur, of all people? You’re mad!’

‘Mordred, I think you might just be right.’

**

‘You have to tell him.’

They had been to the Tavern, where Merlin had revealed to Gwaine and Mordred that he had actually never been in before. If he was going to confess his biggest secrets, what was the point in having secrets at all? They were now back in the Armoury, after deciding that it was the most private place they were going to find. The beer had apparently clouded their judgement quite a bit.

‘Are you joking?’ hiccupped Merlin, leaning against the wall.

‘Gwaine’s right. It’s only going to get worse the longer you leave it.’

‘You’re right- hang on, which one are we talking about?’

‘Either.’

‘Both.’

‘It doesn’t matter! You need to tell him both, or it will probably kill you.’ Mordred offered him a sympathetic smile, thanking his lucky stars for the hundredth time that night that he wasn’t in Merlin’s position.

‘I’m going to get killed either way.’

‘Well, you might as well put yourself out of your misery!’

‘Gwaine!’

**

What little sleep Merlin got that night was filled with nightmares and memories. In short, he didn’t sleep very well. Neither Mordred or Gwaine slept very well either, the stone floor was not very comfortable at all, but they couldn’t abandon Merlin on his night of need. When it was finally time for Merlin to wake Arthur, they shook his hand, before pulling him into a group hug. The walk to Arthur’s chambers felt like a death march and Merlin couldn’t stop himself shaking.

_Pull yourself together. This is just Arthur. You can do this._

When he had finally worked up enough courage to enter the chamber, his steps were more cautious, he opened the curtains more quietly, and he barely spoke as he served Arthur his breakfast. Gwen wasn’t there, thank God. He thought of Gwen like a sister and couldn’t deal with her disappointment on top of Arthur’s… reaction.

‘Sire, I have something to… tell you.’

‘Hurry up then, I haven’t got all day!’

‘I have been lying to you- Sire, please let me speak uninterrupted. You can call the guards the second I have finished.’

‘Merlin-‘

‘ _Please,_ Arthur.’

Arthur nodded, looking concerned. Merlin took a deep breath before launching into his speech.

‘I have tried to be the best servant, subject and the best friend I can be to you, but I can’t keep this secret from you any longer. I want you to know that I would never do you any harm and that since I came to Camelot, I have been doing my best to protect you from anyone who wished to hurt you. I want you to know, Arthur Pendragon, that I consider you my best friend and I-I love you- but I can’t lie anymore!’ A single tear rolled down Merlin’s cheek, and yet he still refused to look away from Arthur’s blue eyes. ‘Every time someone has accused me of sorcery or of being a sorcerer, they were right. I am a Warlock. I was born like this, and I can’t change it. I wouldn’t change it, because you’d be dead without my magic. I am so sorry that I have misled you for so long, Sire. I hope one day, you will be able to forgive me. ‘ Merlin lowered his gaze, and allowed himself one final smirk. ‘And you said I could never keep any secrets.’ He shrugged. ‘You can call the guards now.’

‘Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. What am I going to do with you?’

‘Burn me at the stake to make an example of me?’

‘That’s too kind,’ Arthur told him. ‘I think making you be my manservant for a little while longer is probably a better punishment.’

Merlin allowed himself a tiny bit of hope, and pulled his gaze back to meet Arthur’s. To his astonishment, Arthur’s eyes were filled with amusement, rather than rage.

‘Sire?’

‘Come here, Merlin.’

Merlin walked towards Arthur and was astonished to find himself being pulled into a tight hug.

‘Arthur?’

‘You are a complete clot, Merlin, you really are. I’ve suspected for quite some time. Did you know you don’t have to publically announce every change in the law, if you don’t want to? As long as you tell some people, you’re fine. So, you’re not going to be burnt. More to the point, was that you wearing that dress at the lake?’

Merlin nodded, smiling now.

‘It suited you.’

Merlin allowed himself to relax in Arthur’s arms, confident that he wasn’t about to be executed.

‘Thank you, Sire.’

‘Oh, and Merlin?’

‘Yes?’

‘I love you too. Idiot.’


End file.
